oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
