If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
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Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
A bitchslap is in order.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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