The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize