Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
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Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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