when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
