Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
