if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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