So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize