i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Say something about gay babies.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
