Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
