Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize