Having a random hookup so left but love u
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
