ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
