slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
