Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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