I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
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I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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