If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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