Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
