you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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