Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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