Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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