no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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