just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
