the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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