So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
