So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
