is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
