last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
