I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
