She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
