guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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