when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
