So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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