my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize