you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
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I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
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Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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