How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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