I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
