if you like me you must not know who I am
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
