Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
