the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
