Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
