toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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