yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
