My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Who died my cat blue again?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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