Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I am naked and annoyed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize