return my video game
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize