i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
