I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
