i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
