Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm having to shit out rocks
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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