Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
