so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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