Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
