I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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