True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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