why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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