I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
