And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
