Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
