I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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